In communication there are:
- The words we use.
- The underlying message we transmit with our facial gestures, body language and tone.
In most relationships and especially in relating to our children, the second is much more significant as it transmits the emotional dimension of our message. Because emotion is the language of bonding and connection, regardless of what we say, if we say it in a positive way that reflects our love and closeness, the child will be able to listen. A joyful parent is an effective parent because he or she is able to nurture the child from a positive state which is filled with energy and vitality.
3 takeaways from this:
- Self Care – Take the time to manage your own state with enjoyable activities and experiences so that you can be a positive joyful presence for your child.
- Self Control – Try not embark on any significant behavioral redirections or modifications when you are not in a positive state.
- Self Disclosure – If you do discipline your child in a negative, angry state and hurt him/her in the process, take responsibility for the damage. Once you calm down, apologize, share that you were not in a good frame of mind and while the lesson is still important, you wish you would have transmitted it differently