This time of the Jewish year, there is a lot of talk about asking God for forgiveness. Some of us show up for that experience but most don’t. I have this strange sense that for those that don’t, it’s not that they couldn’t care less. They care, a lot. The problem is that they have given up on God caring. Pain and then distance has crept into the relationship and we have no idea why we are being treated this way. We cry in silence. We hurt and ask what it all means. The answers don’t come quickly or easily. We are left alone, wondering.
How I wish that these people, loving and sensitive enough to truly feel the pain and perhaps the resentment that it has bred, would speak up. If need be, from that place of anger or resentment, and if possible, from that raw place of pain and shame. Because if they would, a real conversation could happen. And this conversation has to happen, otherwise we are each alone, in our pain, silent roommates with God. Our lives running off in parallel lines. So, sinners, and that means you…..and me, please speak up. Take the risk to trust that your feelings and even your cold indifference, are true, authentic signals of a longing from deep within your soul. And then maybe take another risk, and share, trusting that there is nothing your Beloved wants to hear more.