False Relationship Belief #1
Myth: You never hurt someone you love
Fact: You most hurt (and are hurt by) someone you love. Not on purpose, of course, but pain is the price we pay for caring about someone deeply.
The true love that is the stuff of a marriage is about what you do AFTER the hurt happens.
False Relationship Belief #2
Myth : Happy marriage requires compromise.
Fact: Compromise leads to turn taking, keeping score and ultimately resentment.
Instead, experiment with giving to the other whole heartedly when it is more important to him/her (ex.-if it’s a “10” to her and a “6” to him.)
As you try this, notice what it feels like to openly and selflessly give to your partner.
False Relationship Belief #3
Myth : In happy marriages, partners can always be relied upon to fulfill each other’s needs.
Fact: No human being can always be relied upon to fulfill someone else’s needs, no matter how great the relationship.
I alone am responsible for my sense of fulfillment and have to respectfully give my spouse a chance; a window into my heart’s desire so they can do their best to respond to that need: To be there for me in the way I always hoped.