https://www.elazarbloom.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/39FBD2E4-E970-40CC-BAFE-49D21480E512_1_105_c.jpeg 1024 768 Rabbi Elazar Bloom, LMFT https://www.elazarbloom.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/logo-9-mar.png Rabbi Elazar Bloom, LMFT2020-12-17 19:52:092020-12-17 19:52:09Shevy's Candy Grab
At a Chanukah/Birthday party my daughter Shevy received a candy bag. She clutched on to that bag firm and tight, treasuring it, not wanting it to leave her sight for a moment. She would not let me put the candies into a ziplock until I was able to illustrate that she would still be able to see the candies clearly through the plastic.
As we worked on a magnet tile maze that afternoon, it was only with her left hand. Her right hand was occupied with the candy bag. When I suggested that it might be easier if she put down the bag so she could use both hands, the response, a firm
Later, we were making a BBQ together and her job was to “paint” the chicken wings with sauce. As she stood on a chair and carefully applied her brush strokes I suggested that she put the candy bag down. The response, a firm
Then she lost her balance and almost fell. Scared and clearly shaken up, she silently placed the bag on to the side tray and continued to paint the wings.
I asked her if she was ok, and she nodded. Surprisingly, beyond that, I was wise enough to keep my mouth shut.
We all have our candy bag. We grasp it tightly. We do not let it out of our sight. We NEED it.
We do not notice how it limits us from engaging in our life. The candy bag may be a craving or a fear. It has been with us for a while and its familiarity is what makes it so evasive.
Until we lose our balance.
At that moment, a possibility emerges. Can we see how our candy bag is getting in the way? Can we see how the need to clutch our candy so tightly is part of the problem, not the solution?