STAGE 1 – CREATING SAFETY TOGETHER
Understanding the Patterns that Prevent You From Finding Comfort in One Another.
This stage has 4 main goals:
- Understand how you relate to one another and why.
- Discover specifically where (despite your best intentions!) communication breaks down and how this leads to your “negative cycle”.
- Identify the feelings (anger, frustration, anxiety, etc.) that are stirred up in your interactions and explore what might be underneath them (pain, sadness, fear). Begin to feel safe enough to share some of these “underneath” feelings with your partner.
- Together, you begin to really understand your “negative cycle”. Each of you gets how (despite my best intentions) I do things that “trigger” my partner. You also understand what’s really driving you to do those things and why it is so scary for your partner.
You now feel safer together, because you understand that your partner is not the enemy. You are a team, united and helping each other stay out of the “negative cycle”. Your relationship already feels so much better!