Inflation v. Deflation

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Inflation and Deflation are 2 sides of the same coin. It's actually more common (and possibly more damaging?)to be consumed by deflation as it can seem humble and even "righteous". Regardless, both are out of touch with my true worth.

When the Servant Becomes the Master

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I know a young girl that talks and talks. She started talking early and has not stopped. It's almost like she is using language to make sure she is real, that others are there and she is connected to them. And this got me thinking... Words are powerful and so helpful in managing the ongoing overwhelm of being human. When experience is too much, the mind kicks in with all types…

What I am going to Do..

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"What I am going to do, not what YOU are going to do." For me this is one of the clearest, most succinct expressions of healthy BOUNDARY setting. In boundary setting my commitment to myself and my own well being comes first. If I am trying to get YOU to do something different as a reaction to what you are doing to ME, I am actually then violating YOUR boundaries. Yes, it just keeps on getting…

Good Morning!

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Walking to synagogue this past Shabbat with my 5 year old daughter Shevy. Me to a man riding a bike:"Good Morning" No response. "Good Morning!" (louder). No response. "GOOD MORNING"! Still nothing. Sensing my frustration, Shevy says: "It's ok tatty, he is probably listening to music and can't hear you". "Yeah, you're right.." (slightly smiling now and feeling a bit better)…

Serving or Avoiding Life

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"You cannot serve life if you are scared of it" - R. Naomi Remen For example: If I avoid painful emotional experiences within myself (an inherent part of living), I will be unable to be present for that experience when it shows up in my child. I may do many things for her (problem solve, coach, explain, teach, etc.) but I will not be able to be of true service to the life that is expressing…

A Dark Entrance to the Light

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As Jews, we know loss all too well, but I fear we may have forgotten how to create compassionate enough spaces to experience emotional pain and grieve together. Our coping strategies have gotten the best of us and we have paid the price in terms of connection to ourselves and each other. When our Sages suggest that Mashiach is born on the afternoon of the Jewish calendar’s most painful day…

The Truth About Success

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The truth about improvement, growth, success, (etc., etc.) In HEALTH: It naturally develops out of a secure feeling of love, connection and belonging In SICKNESS: it is the person's greatest hope to deserve love, connection and belonging.

The Most Important Benefit of Mindfulness?

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There is a lot of talk about "mindfulness" and its benefits. One benefit that I appreciate and haven't seen given a lot of air time: Awareness of and friendly attention to my own inner experience at any given moment protects me from being drawn into the feelings, moods and states of other people, which (by default) I am likely to desirously FUSE with or aggressively REJECT. With awareness…

Death of the Heart

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"Where there is no memory, there has been death of the heart" -R. Nachman I often sit with someone and they tell me that they do not remember much from their younger years. That despite having had a "good childhood", the particular memories remain elusive. It appears that the beautiful person in front of me has had to turn off his heart. Emotionally lonely and unseen, the heart goes into hiding.…

Unconditional Love? No Such Thing

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There is no such thing as "Unconditional Love" Love is by definition unconditional and can be nothing else. If it's conditional it is not love, it is approval.