Unconditional Love? No Such Thing

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There is no such thing as "Unconditional Love" Love is by definition unconditional and can be nothing else. If it's conditional it is not love, it is approval.

Living a Borrowed Life

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One of the Hebrew word for grave is "Sheol". The 3 letter root of this word שאל is the same as the word "borrow". Every time I define myself by another person, every time I borrow my identity from your opinion, from your judgment, I turn on myself and step into the grave of a borrowed life. Living a life borrowed from others is a betrayal of the divine life force that is yours and…

Playing Dominoes with Shevy

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One of the Shabbat (Saturday) morning activities that Shevy (5) and I enjoy together is setting up long trains of dominoes and watching them fall. It's a lot of work (and often frustration) for a couple of moments of "WOW" but it passes the time together and we have a laugh. Is life like those domino trains? Does each moment knock into and automatically cause the next? Or is life more…

Pain as Intimate Guide

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What if the most important work we have to do in life is to experience the meaning of loss and allow it to guide us toward the only thing we truly have? What if suffering is intended to nudge us towards parts our selves that are needed to experience the wonders of healing and the joy of reunion? What if everything and everyone is moving in the direction of wholeness? What if…

You Are Living a Dream

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Dreams, the Torah portions we have been reading are filled with images of the unconscious and their interpretations: Joseph, Pharaoh, his ministers. The kabbalists say that the events and experiences of our lives resemble a dream. And our will be defined by how we INTERPRET it. The Hebrew word for dream: חלם The Hebrew word for bread: לחם Same letters, different order.…

Shevy's Candy Grab

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At a Chanukah/Birthday party my daughter Shevy received a candy bag. She clutched on to that bag firm and tight, treasuring it, not wanting it to leave her sight for a moment. She would not let me put the candies into a ziplock until I was able to illustrate that she would still be able to see the candies clearly through the plastic. As we worked on a magnet tile maze that afternoon, it was…

Looking Through the Window

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Looking through the window Recently, I was sitting on my back porch and as I glanced through the closed window, I watched my wife interacting with my children in the kitchen. They were not doing anything exceptional; typical family stuff - eating, talking, smiling; one of the kids was kind of just spacing out. Yet, my heart immediately became filled with such immense joy, compassion and gratitude. Funny…

Traumas of Pain and Pleasure

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Traumas of pain and pleasure Negative Trauma = Experiences that overwhelm one's system with PAIN. They cannot be processed as they happen and are therefore held down as condensed pockets of pain to be AVOIDED at all cost. Positive trauma = Experiences that overwhelm one's system with PLEASURE and are therefore held in constant awareness and CRAVED at all cost. Perhaps our psyches…

The Body and Soul of Love

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The only difference between the holy and the mundane is that the while the holy is united with and aware of the divine energy that brings it into existence at every moment, the mundane experiences THAT SAME divine energy as somehow SEPARATE from its existence. This body is thus devoted to the realm of the mundane while the soul to the realm of the holy. We are simultaneously trying…

Hide and Seek with Shevy

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My 5 year old daughter and I have a weekly tradition where on Shabbat (Saturday) morning we play a game of hide and seek together. When I hide, she seeks and the game goes as it should. When SHE hides, I pretend not to know where she is for a little while (even though she hides in the same 2-3 spots every time) and as I seek, inevitably, it becomes too much for her to bear and within 15 seconds or…