Couples Break Up for the Same Reason they Get Together

It all has to do with core fears and vulnerabilities. One of several variations: A young man, deeply fears that deep down he is really not important. He has learned to "get it right" and become worthy by focusing on pleasing those he cares about and catering to their needs. A young woman, deeply fears that in the end she will be neglected and alone. She has learned to draw attention…

There was an Affair. Can We Heal?

Yes. But. In my experience, at minimum it requires 4 things: Desire - You must BOTH want to. There is very good reason NOT to try and heal this breach of trust. Understanding - The affair was the unfortunate "solution" to a bigger problem - the ongoing, unconscious destructive pattern of disconnection and mutual pain that hijacked your relationship. This cycle deeply hurt both of you…

Destined for Each Other?

Were you and your spouse destined for each other? Does it even matter? Let’s try and answer these questions with another: What makes a marriage work? “Love"? Sorry, incorrect. “Respect”? Closer, but still not there. "Good chemistry"? Maybe to get things rolling, but not to make it for the long haul. The only answer that has proven true time and time again is: Commitment. Commitment…