Posts

Passover Wine, Loss, and My Avoidance of Sadness

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Yesterday evening I was irritated, with my wife, with our kids; snappy, uncomfortable. I couldn't trace it. Nothing especially stressful happened at work, dinner was hot and delicious, where the heck was this coming from? I continued to feel uneasy the rest of the evening and finally, in the shower that night it hit me.. The wine order. Earlier in the day I had placed an order…

Death of the Heart

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"Where there is no memory, there has been death of the heart" -R. Nachman I often sit with someone and they tell me that they do not remember much from their younger years. That despite having had a "good childhood", the particular memories remain elusive. It appears that the beautiful person in front of me has had to turn off his heart. Emotionally lonely and unseen, the heart goes into hiding.…

Pain as Intimate Guide

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What if the most important work we have to do in life is to experience the meaning of loss and allow it to guide us toward the only thing we truly have? What if suffering is intended to nudge us towards parts our selves that are needed to experience the wonders of healing and the joy of reunion? What if everything and everyone is moving in the direction of wholeness? What if…

Are You Avoiding Me?

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Yesterday a friend asked me if I was working on Tisha B'Av. I answered "no". I later thought about how nice it would be to work, or better yet, to sleep. To go unconscious and wake up Friday morning not having to worry about it until next Summer. What am I trying to avoid? It is not as if I have experienced the Temple or anything directly associated with it to feel the loss I am supposed…

The Integrated Turtle

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I had just finished an emotional session with an amazing young couple. Both of them, brave souls with trauma filled backgrounds. I went on a long run to reflect and release and then I saw this guy (pictured above). A thought occurred. That beautiful shell is the pain and the need to protect. The little head popping out, is the courageous willingness to risk for the possibility of deep vulnerable love…