The Body and Soul of Love

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The only difference between the holy and the mundane is that the while the holy is united with and aware of the divine energy that brings it into existence at every moment, the mundane experiences THAT SAME divine energy as somehow SEPARATE from its existence. This body is thus devoted to the realm of the mundane while the soul to the realm of the holy. We are simultaneously trying…

Hide and Seek with Shevy

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My 5 year old daughter and I have a weekly tradition where on Shabbat (Saturday) morning we play a game of hide and seek together. When I hide, she seeks and the game goes as it should. When SHE hides, I pretend not to know where she is for a little while (even though she hides in the same 2-3 spots every time) and as I seek, inevitably, it becomes too much for her to bear and within 15 seconds or…

Couples Break Up for the Same Reason they Get Together

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It all has to do with core fears and vulnerabilities. One of several variations: A young man, deeply fears that deep down he is really not important. He has learned to "get it right" and become worthy by focusing on pleasing those he cares about and catering to their needs. A young woman, deeply fears that in the end she will be neglected and alone. She has learned to draw attention…

Guilt is Good?

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Guilt is a confusing for many of us. Some define it as an important human experience that can lead to personal growth and the deepening of relationships. Others see it as overwhelming and destructive. A force that inhibits their ability to engage meaningfully with life. Which is it? It can be both, but only one of them is healthy and useful. The unhealthy form becomes very obvious when you begin to…

Abraham's Journey

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Abraham's journey... had very little to do with his actual steps toward a new geographic location. It's truth was an inner journey from unconscious conditioned fears, desires and thought patterns to the open expansive space of Divine consciousness. His first encounter with an open awareness that transcended his limited conception of the Divine. The shift from complete identification with objects (physical…

Your Inner Nesting Doll

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Solving inner disturbances is less about problem solving and more about self expanding. It's about seeing the distress in its proper context. As that context expands, broadens and deepens, the issue does not need to go away, it is simply seen for what it is: Your earlier best attempt at living.

Bubby's Relationship Wisdom #1

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"One Mother Accomplishes More than 100 Teachers" Like it or not, our first relationship is the most important one of our lifetime and everything that happens (or doesn't happen) in it will impact all subsequent relationships. This is not a sentence, it is just how things work. The more you accept it, understand it and become aware of the raw spots you own because of it, the better chance…

KNOW YOUR STYLE - How You Handle Stress WILL Affect Your Relationship

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What is your reaction to (emotional) stress? What is your partner's reaction to (emotional) stress? If you tend to turn UP the Volume to connect, feel seen and supported, while your partner's tendency is to turn DOWN the volume to maintain a status of "OK" and focus on solutions, then.... One of you will regularly feel NEGLECTED One of you will regularly feel ATTACKED One of you…

The Burden of Responsibility

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When God places Adam in the Garden to guard and serve it, the verse states: "And the Lord, God TOOK Adam and PLACED him in the Garden.." Apparently Adam did not want to go on his own. What was in the way? Was not the garden glorious? The answer our sages give is that Adam feared responsibility. Responsibility. Service. Sacrifice. Love. What if I fail? What if it's too much…

Stop Hitting Yourself

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Most people I have discussed this with admit that they have a pretty healthy inner voice that can be critical, judgmental and sometimes downright abusive. This voice developed very early as an adaptive strategy to a an unsettled environment. And life itself is unsettling. The more chaos there was in the environment, the greater the need for control and the stronger the voice. Consider: Would…